n e u f n e u f: jeezuss

06 June 2008

jeezuss

Depending on how carefully you read when you visit, you may have noticed me mentioning that I'm still having my blastedly weird problem with feeding myself. I don't want to cook. Neither do I want to go to the grocery store. Neither do I want to go to a restaurant... even a drive-thru. I wish it were even altruism, but it seems to worsen when prices worsen... it seems to be an extension of ordinary mortal existential terror. My spirit is on strike, but my stomach won't stop trying to cross the picket line.

A couple days ago Big Dan was going on about Beanee Weenee and it made me hungry for canned meat. We don't have that stuff here, but we do have all manner of canned chili. So I snapped up a can of Nalley's Big Chunk Chili when I finally ran hunger-crazed to the store last night. Just a little while ago I was driven by the same hunger-crazedness to warm it up and pour it over some french bread toast, and I cannot quite describe the avidity with which that shit entered my system! Horrendous saliva production and a wonder I didn't bite my own cheeks I was scarfing it down so fast. This after less than 24 hours without eating.

Now. Contemplate the millions of people WE render starving, 99, and how it is to be them. Done and done. They never get to stop feeling this desperate for nutrients. Never.

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