they all looked like this, only fatter, much fatter

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Yesterday I stopped by the appliance store in Brookings, and was thwarted in the purchase of the perfect replacement for the very near death shambling old rattle bucket refrigerator in my kitchen. The model had been discontinued, so it was a very good deal, only... all the ones they had left were already sold.

So tonight I went down to the Home Depot in Crescent City and found few that would fit correctly and none of those few that would make me feel at all satisfied with such a large outlay of my no money. Mom had said she thought I should try WalMart because they have such great deals. I told her only in desperation would I cross the threshold of that store. Luckily, no matter what, I'm told, the WalMart in Crescent City doesn't sell appliances. But... well... this leaves me, I think, only with Ace Hardware in Brookings to try.... And I just gotta hope this one here holds on till I get this handled. It's touch and go. It's peeing into the crispers and now onto the floor too and the stuff in my freezer isn't exactly freezing. Sheesh.

So, vexed, I went to Denny's to grab dinner before I came back to this kitchen drama in progress.

The place was packed. They just had one itty booth for me and I took it. Four really fat women were squeezed companionably in the big booth directly across from me. They were talking a mile a minute. I had absolutely no choice but to hear their every word. They're Avon Ladies. No shit. Very fat Avon Ladies, dripping with chachkis and acrylic fingernails. One was Sarah Palin in a fat suit. I'm not kidding, and she was, of course, doing most of the talking. Sometime before my sandwich showed up I realized, "Oh my God, it's Glengarry Glen Ross without the profanity!"

Scared the crap out of me.

I'm a total babe-in-the-woods. Clueless.