20 July 2010

can't shake this guilty feeling

[click image]


Overnight, a spider worked its little heart out to create this magnificent web that spanned the front walkway from the drive to the house. Obviously, obviously, obviously an exercise in futility of cosmic-to-a-spider proportions. I stood before it, admiring it's perfection in the morning sun, knowing its doom, and contemplating letting it freak out the next person to attempt to avoid the lawn to get to the house or to the drive, but opted for tough love instead. The more quickly you disabuse a spider of these detrimental notions the better chance spiders everywhere have of ridding us of other creepy things.

I happen to be a survivor of sharing a home with spiders so big that NO ONE believes me when I approximate their size for them. They think I'm exaggerating, telling a fish story. There probably are bigger spiders than those in deepest Africa or maybe the Amazon Basin, but... I merely passed my hand through the crucial anchor for this masterpiece, dreaming there could be a spider big enough to ensnare the murderating fucks of the world, and am left these hours later still pitying the poor little master craftsman and not liking myself for that stroke through the morning air.



  1. Don't feel bad. The spider has probably already made another one - takes about an hour.

  2. Well, I hope he wasn't being obstinate or he'll have lost another hour. Though, you know, an hour to a spider might be a year to us. So. I can't help but feel badly.

  3. When I lived in Sheboygan a barn spider made his home in the doorway to the wood shed in the spring. Since I didn't need to get in the shed I left him alone and in fact fed him grasshoppers and other insects all summer long. He grew to be huge. His body was close to 1 1/2" in diameter. His web was strong, like 3 pound fishing line.

    The first cold night in the fall I decided to build a fire in the wood stove and went out for wood. I forgot all about spidey and walked through the doorway. His web became stretched across my face which gave me a start and I jumped back. Then I felt him crawling across my face and instinctively swatted him off, in the process sending my glasses flying about ten feet.

    I actually heard him hit the ground. I don't know how he fared since I couldn't see him in the dark.

  4. You are SUCH a klutz!

    And thank you for re-sharing the video!



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