11 August 2010

could somebody read this for me please?

[click image]

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Tell me if it would send me screaming naked off a cliff?

I'm sorta preöccupied with trying not to go kill my poor mother at the moment and, well, I don't want to resort to dumping cups of brandy in my blueberry smoothie... defeats the purpose of drinking all this water and nixing bread and stuff... ya know? I really have to be a THIN raving old bat.

I've been meaning all day to tell you about John Lennon descending in a helicopter to take over the DRUMS for a rock band with a HUGE stadium full of screaming fans this morning... and... the fucking filthy state of the world and our "civilization" horned in, and then my much-anticipated new sweater, and then more fucking filthy "civilization" status evidence, and then my mother on the phone, and all the things I can't tell you about or you will go screaming naked off my cliff with me... OMG, OMG, OMG!

I hope you never let your kids think that being a good person will make life be fair to you.

Just don't tell me if you did.

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33 comments:

  1. Please get your parachute!

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  2. The straps may chafe but...

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  3. Oh, don't worry. I've got screaming naked off a cliff callouses by now....

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  4. Probably best you wait until you're farther from the edge before you read it.

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  5. Thank you. I really need the help right now.

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  6. It's long and informative but depressing.

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  7. See, I need to resist my brandy bottle right now and you have done me a solid by helping me with this. I was pretty sure this would be the case, but was hoping somebody could find some sterling exposition of startling truth getting through the fog of groupthink and opening a tiny tear in the fabric of this wall-to-wall apocalypse we call "our world".... THAT would not have been only depressing. It would have given me some energy.

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  8. This pretty much sums it up:

    Never before in human history has the vast food web of the ocean—rooted in the dark, and flowering at the surface—come under so many assaults from below, above, and within the water column: marine warfare masquerading as a cleanup.

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  9. PLUS THEY MURDERATED A TRULY DECENT MAN TO SILENCE HIM AND ANY OTHER DECENT HUMANS ON THE SUBJECT.

    DON'T FORGET THAT PART!

    I BET MJ FORGOT THAT PART AND I COULDN'T STAND TO FIND OUT.

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  10. Good article, well written, and has the basic three..

    Tragedy, irony, and a little hope thrown in at the end.

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  11. Oh! Nooooooo! Not HOPE. Fuck! Am I ever glad I didn't read it! Yeesh.

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  12. Nope, nothing about Matt Simmons, but I'm pretty sure the author wrote it before his untimely death

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  13. LOL, ok, not hope, maybe a bit of...

    sterling exposition of startling truth getting through the fog of groupthink and opening a tiny tear in the fabric of this wall-to-wall apocalypse we call "our world".... THAT would not have been only depressing. It would have given me some energy.

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  14. Good point. I will let them off the hook THIS time for that then.

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  30. I am sorry, Mister North. I made the error of thinking I could remove comments from the list and it wouldn't remove them from the blog. I can't undo this. They're using me as a guinea pig for a new comment admin feature, and I fucked up already.

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  31. I'm practicing being grateful it was only the comments from late last night and so far today... not my whole frickin' blog....

    Aspirin?

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