16 November 2010

i won't forget that fucker if i live to be a hunnert an' ninety-nine

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I had this unspeakably evil sociiopath who would visit here every time I posted about depleted uranium, insisting it was safe and you could eat off DU-glazed dinner plates. He would tell me I was too smart to be posting all these lies. He always came in the middle of the night and it was always from a different computer at the City of Benecia... like he was a janitor there... but really, Benecia has all kine oil refineries and a Naval graveyard and sundry military personnel stationed there, and I used to have to pass by it on the freeway every day to go be Ms. Bombshell Legal Ace when I moved to the Walnut Creek office to try to get some mental poise back. Didn't work, and the ugly emanations from Benecia every day didn't help. Very sensitive to that. Actually beginning to think it's an even better job I never had kids because I passed through there every day for so many years. Who KNOWS what kind of dread DNA damage I incurred just trying to maintain hotshottitude for my frickin' Rotarian mother. Heavy sigh.

I was an object of worship at the office. Not just for my unaccountably intense sex appeal. I remember one of the puppies Jack put me in charge of. He thought I was a goddess for my free spirit, my disinclination to be bound by the usual head trips, for giving Wally, our very own fundamentalist Republican partner The Communist Manifesto for Christmas....

Don't kid yerseff. I've ALWAYS been this way. Unbelievably, have even gained a measure of compassion for my insane mother. Heh, had a friend who was waaaaaaay into psychological concepts and he was determined that women with father issues were poison to him. I told him once it was too bad we didn't get together because I was DEFINITELY the exact OPPOSITE of poison for him. His best attribute, among many good ones, was that he wore the stodgiest drugstore cheaters made at the time, and I coveted them. They looked spectacular on him. We had pizza nights together sometimes, and would watch old movies and be goofy, and I always tried to figure out things he needed to read so he'd put on those damn cheaters.

Anyway, this psychopath who seems finally to have shut up about DU... hauled off to the bin, no doubt... has to be mixed in with all those memories now forever for having come from that particular place and managed to outrage me so acutely as to make himself immortal here.

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love, 99
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2 comments:

  1. FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK
    FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

    (Can't say it as big as I want - so just lots of times instead.)

    ReplyDelete
  2. I know just what you mean. :o[

    ReplyDelete

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