07 November 2010


[click image]


I can't believe I never saw this before. This guy is smokin'....

I was the cheer leader for a pool team as a girl... and we're not talking about slouches. These guys could play. Scary good pool. I always loved the clicking of the balls, loved to watch all the impossible shots being left in shape for the next. Some of them were fast like this guy, but they were usually the worst in a tight spot. Very hard for anyone this speedy to keep the trigonometry together to pull off a feat of this magnitude. No. It's impossible. They ALWAYS lose it. O'Sullivan isn't doing the math. That's the only way he can do it. Almost all men play using practice and math. Most of them don't even know it's math, but that's what they're doing. They flip when they miss because they have to re-plot their whole game, and then they get rattled and then they start losing.

I know what I'm talking about. I've hung with guys who would go to the pool hall and everyone in the place would line up to present them with "impossible" shots they always made. I've been with hustlers and with sportsmen. I know this stuff. I love the clicking of the balls. I used to play Pong with myself on the slowest setting with the biggest paddle, just to get that slow swoopy clicking. I love to play Mahjongg solitaire for that clicking. Once I went to the pool hall on Ladies' Night so I could just shoot all night for free. I am a seriously bad pool player. There are three reasons for this: [1] my eyes aren't straight, can't use them to gauge that sort of thing; and [2] I have huge boobs, and they really bungle the stroke too often; and [3] I don't give a damn if I sink any balls. I love the clicking and the felt, the stage lit table... I love, too, the seedy genius criminals who go all mushy and gentlemanly when I'm there. So I'm there with a table all to myself. Two guys are playing at the table next to me. I'm just making the balls click and missing everything and those two are giggling about it for an hour or so. Suddenly everything I hit started dropping in the pockets. I can't remember how many racks I ran.

I think after the second or so, both of my neighbors came over to watch. "Whoa, are you a hustler?"

Nope. I can't play for shit. Your guess is as good as mine.

Two more times in my life I dropped into that zone and amazed the people around me. The rest of the times I cannot sink a ball to save my life. The reason this happens is because I forget myself. I stop aiming. The true self plays pool. I also can only hit a target with anything if I look once and close my eyes before I throw or shoot or swing. My real mind is perfect at all this stuff. [So's yours.]

So having watched every kind of player there is, I know the only way this could have happened with a guy who shoots that fast. I am dirt positive. They ALWAYS lose it too soon... except him. He wasn't aiming.

love, 99


  1. At about 5 beers I start getting the balls to go where I want, by 7 beers it's all over...

    One time I was up at the Brush Creek General Store and Bar drinking and playing pool with a friend. The cue ball was down at one end of the table and the mass of balls, having just been broke, was near the other end.

    I loudly proclaimed to my friend and those around that I would bank the cue ball off the side rail, hit another ball along side of the mass, then that ball would hit a second ball behind the mass causing it to strike a third ball also behind the mass and the second and third balls would then each go into the corner pockets.

    I lined up my cue on the cue ball and hit it with everything I had - I'll be damned if it didn't do exactly as I had said.

    I don't know who was more surprised, me or my friend and the onlookers.

  2. Ah-ha! Further proof!

    When you said:

    At about 5 beers I start getting the balls to go where I want, by 7 beers it's all over...

    I thought you were speaking of your testicles! :-P and was going to reply:


    I really want you going to the North Pole with me to save the Polar Bears.



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