So I ran right out and gardened for one of them. I had been irked that the damn roses in barrels were out there entertaining the neighbors, but I couldn't even see a bit of them from any window of my house. So I poked a particularly pleasing dead branch up next to one of the climbing roses that had no means to climb and dumped a lot of compost into its barrel for good measure. I am pleased to announce that now I can see the rose climbing while I'm washing dishes. Another marvel—or sign of the end times—is that the tulips someone planted where it's entirely too dark for them to want ever to bloom have shot up blossoms, all.
They've downgraded the storm from 100% to 80%, but the radar is threatening major cloud-cover again by sunset, which is also moonrise, so I think I'm still doomed to miss this big moon.