i need a personal manager

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6½ pills in the morning.

8 pills in the afternoon.

5 pills and 4 steroid snorts before bed.

As I've mentioned many times, it is hell to remember to take them, let alone remember whether I have carried through on that blessed remembering, and have developed some very artistic, if not foolproof, ways of dealing with this ordeal. But there are other aspects that come close to dropping me all the time too. Like remembering to order refills in time to get them refilled so that there aren't any untoward interruptions in service, so to speak, and me even being sentient enough to get to the pharmacy while they are still open to accomplish the ends all this remembering was about to begin with.

Then I am greeted by a droning automaton asking me to punch in prescription numbers that make the computations for string theory look trivial. Well. I have a deep suspicion string theory is trivial, but you catch my drift. It isn't enough to be fortified with enough coffee. The right combination of contact lenses and highly enough powered cheaters to be able to read the numbers has to be in place. And it's not just the punching in of strings of numbers! You have to remember to punch the pound sign and confirm everything, and keep listening to that drone that makes your brain automatically try very hard not to heed, and you fight and fight to stick with it. When finally you have accomplished this ordeal, which never comes on a day when you're really up for that sort of thing, you get to enjoy the ramifications of that droning computer knowing so much about you that it spits out your specs in stultifying detail and tells you of sales on foot powder and Diet Coke.

It's stupid how intimately acquainted I am with pharmacies. Do you realize how much time old people must spend in pharmacies? They should build tea rooms adjacent to the counter so we can at least socialize comfortably in our hells.

I can't take it.

I need a personal manager.