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Note: I am so interested in things like remote viewing and what the space lizard researchers have to say about things because a very large number of what you call paranormal things have happened to me in my life. My teacher, at will, or at a tone, knows the moment something crucial dawns on me and calls me in that moment, from a great physical distance away. Completely unexplainable things have saved my life more than once. I can actually hear people thinking around me in moments of silent concentration, like while taking tests or meditating in the same room. I could go on and on.

I don't have this mountain of translations of the ancients around me for nothing. I have read almost all of them once, most of them twice, some of them six and five and four times, and I want to be reading them again. I want to calm my mind. I want to look at stuff beside the doings of the post turtle's torments. Genghis Yoo asked for it. He got it. He's not up to it.

I can't be the kind of help I want to be until I replenish my mind. The sorrow and anger will cause me to fail if I do not get my own kind of creativity and productivity back. I need to chill. So I'm listening to odd lectures. Trying to concentrate on who yanked me from that doorway, saying wrong sana, and why. It was so fast that I couldn't get the whole picture. I know it was a he. I know he grabbed my arm firmly and pulled me physically away from entering. I know he did it to protect me. But I don't know if he did it for me or Me. So I need to get back to my books.

I can't do my books when I want it so hugely. So I'm just dabbling and dipping in for a bit and then going off to pull weeds or watch a movie or listen to an interview or lecture... putter... let my muscles loosen... bat away thoughts that try to grab me... just generally get back my energy, stabilize it with virtue, and keep it. I haven't fallen all my ancients yet. It's my job.

So, really, I'm liable to be even more erratic than usual around here. I'm not tuning all the way out. I'm just getting my equanimity and using it for something beside a hat rack.
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