World record barfathon right here last night, and I am now the title holder. The trick is to grab something suitable to catch the barf while you sit on the toilet. It saves so much work and knee pain. Nobody has ever barfed this much, ever, nor the other end. My body has made it clear to each and every bacterium in the world to stay the fuck OUT of here or you will be very forcefully evicted.
I'm sipping apple juice cut with distilled water and just got up the nerve to eat a little corner of a stale scone. Now I think I will go to bed and see if I can stay there until I don't feel like someone beat me to within an inch of my life. It's kind of amazing I didn't break any bones....