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I cut my finger something radically awful and OMG the blood has bats smacking up against my windows for dinner. I was listening to an archeologist of humans' extreme antiquity, keeping up on my doctoral work, when I decided to cut myself a slice of bread. I cut myself instead, and have been quakingly flying around the house to put together all the materials necessary for a MAJOR bandage job and somehow managed to keep the few quarts of blood mainly in the bathroom sink, but now my left index finger is finally completely encased in a huge wad of antibiotic sodden gauze and I'm hoping I can keep it tight enough to discourage the wound from bleeding through before I've shaken off my maniacal desire to undo this accident completely and erase all memory of it from the akashic record.
I'm the more upset because I paid quite a lot for this ultimate bread knife so I could stop cutting the hell out of myself instead of the bread. I think it's turned out to have done a better job of cutting me than the wussy little inappropriate tools with which I used to muddle through. After a lifetime of being an exasperatingly slow cutter of anything, obsessively concentrating on not cutting the hell out of myself and bleeding all over the place, I guess this fancy implement relaxed me enough to forget for that crucial split second.
Now I am afraid to go out for a hotly-desired cigarette without a garland of garlic or a wooden stake....
And, you know it sucks the worse because one can really use TWO hands while trying to cope with this sort of thing, and the fact that blood is running out of you like tap water makes what dexterity one usually possesses pretty much unavailable for the one-handed execution of a two-handed job.
Dammit. I'm going out for that smoke and will just poke any comers with it.
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love, 99
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I hate that. I am the MASTER of getting cuts. There's not much I can do anymore without coming back with a cut. Need to put that plug back on the back of the hard drive? Sure Phil can do it.. Sorry about the mess on your case etc.. But Yeah new knives are always fun. (Ain't ya supposed to give a knife to someone with a penny) anyway, I like to get those new carbon / ceramic goodies and when I take em out of the plastic, at least one will drop down off the table and literally stick into my foot like a dart. Or with the German hardened steel pairing knife sometimes that black handle snaps. Sometime the blade snaps. Sometimes I'm drunk and cut myself, and sometimes I'm in a hurry making everyone steak and I do it. I am a master of keeping on working with no bandage and yet no blood in the food. And when it's really bad I use duck tape in a pinch. Enjoy your cut, it keeps things real, like not being able to play guitar right for a month.
ReplyDeleteWell, anyone who wants to take this one off my hands, so to speak, is welcome to enjoy it for me. I did such a good job of stopping the bleeding with my tight wrap, I cut off all the circulation to my finger and so had to try to endure it for as long as I could, but ultimately had to cave and make a looser bandage. Fucking just as bloody an ordeal as the last one but this time maybe I can stand it till it stops bleeding. I feel faint.
ReplyDeleteDo I dare...
ReplyDeleteWhen I first moved to California I spent 6 months living on the Feather River east of Oroville, deep in the canyon 3 miles from any road, and another 28 miles of very winding mountain road from any medical help.
One night I was walking across a very large tree trunk which laid across a small ravine - about ten feet above the ground. This was the path to get to the pit toilet.
As I was crossing the trunk the bark decided it was time to peel off, sending me falling into the ravine. Over the years people had used the ravine to dispose of their trash. (I always carried mine out!)
I landed with my hand down on top of a broken jar, cutting about halfway through the joint capsule of my finger next to my little finger - the joint closest to the palm.
There was no way to get out at night so I found if I made a fist it closed the wound and stopped the bleeding. I tore a strip off of my shirt and tied my finger into a fist position to wait for morning to hike out.
When I got to a doctor the next day he looked at it, cleaned it and said it was too late for stitches so he bandaged it in the fist position telling me I had done the best thing for it.
I still have a scar from it, but it works just fine.
LOL!
ReplyDeleteTry giving the knife to someone with a penny, then have them give the knife and penny back to you.
ReplyDeleteI've had great luck with this.
Get well soon.
~p