09 February 2010

christopher hitchens has got to have the smallest penis on earth

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There just isn't any other explanation for it.

I try SO hard to admire him for things like going to get waterboarded and letting us watch him wuss out fast and quake afterward... for even admitting that it was giving him the night terrors... for any number of laudable things he has expressed over the years... albeit more when he was younger... and, too, I try to cut him slack on his warmongering because I know he went through the wringer on the Middle East thing, experienced a lot of scary and horrifying things... but I can't think of anyone ever more transparently envious of others' greatness than Christopher Hitchens... maybe Chomsky... maybe McCartney... but, actually, at least those two bother to buffer it a bit, try not to seem too nakedly envious, even while doing a shitty job of it. I'm sure I could think of equally stubborn sophists... but just now I don't want to bother. Someone must've injected him with pig chromosomes as a baby. Why the fuck can't he just shut up and get to work on something worthy? Surely, surely, surely SOMEONE could just smack him upside the kisser and tell him to go on sabbatical, come up with ways to apply his brain to positive manifestation, couldn't someone? Please?

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