14 September 2010

you know, you never answered me about any feeling of strength

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Out there as my request certainly is, and inspired by a guy who is probably half-genius and half-mad, I really want to know. I know yer busy. I know you might think all the Doctor of Lizardry stuff "escapist" or just plain strange, but I'm trying to get at the real. I'm at a disadvantage so far out in the boondocks. It's much harder to tell person-to-person. I know many in Depression Central suddenly cheered up one day, but that may have been a fluke and my contacts weren't in. If you can't find or don't want to speak of it in yourself, maybe you could report on people around you... if they seem to be gaining a little independence of mind, a little spark of energy to resist the evil tide.

My contacts are back in and I'm going today to a place where everyone is damn old, impervious to the outside world... so it's probably not going to be there. C'mon, humor me, will you?


I'll have to leave news and stuff till later....

love, 99


  1. Do you feel even a SPARK of positive energy somewhere in yer inner space... do you feel any spiritual uplift trying to happen?

  2. I mean, David Icke and many others in the space lizard and alternative researches are insisting this is beginning to happen. I'm checking.

    I have it... but I'm SUPPOSED to have it... did/do mountains of work toward that end, but I wanna know if others are feeling it. Icke thinks it's being emitted from black holes. Others say it's coming from the center of the universe... whatever. They're all saying it... all these out there types who are so much more truthful than groupthink. I'm wanting to know if people are noticing it... if it's only the New Age trying to be bubbly or if, despite all the horrors, people are feeling something inside that wants freedom and positive manifestation, something that will throw off the depression and hypnosis and paralysis... if nurtured....

  3. Frankly - no...

    I want to feel it, but every time there is a flicker it seems another F5 tornado wipes it out.

  4. The way I deal with stuff like that, becoming so demoralized by disasters, manmade or otherwise, I remind myself that my pain does nothing to even mitigate it, but does everything to immobilize ME. I look at it as though it were a neurosis. I don't mean not care, or not feel, but to not hold on to it, to leave room for that positive energy to gather strength.

    It's a Zen thing, and, well, just about all the other mystical schools, and if you think about it, it's just so. It IS a sort of neurosis AND it's letting yourself be immobilized by the bastards. They KNOW this kind of pain and fear and frustration stops us in our tracks... that as we run around identifying with these things, being sensitive and loving, we can't make those qualities work for us if we're too busy trying to cope with them.

    Another big one they're using is making us run all over hell and gone to try to figure out what's ACTUAL behind that huge fog machine we call the MSM. I wish you'd 86 the tv at your house... even if you only watch the good stuff. It slides in all kinds of conditioning to help them keep you unable to counter their shit.

    But, yes, thank you. You have a flicker that gets drowned with each new awful thing. So yer not dead, just takin' on too much water.


  5. Jesus. The salmon. Jesus fuck.

  6. I notice no change in my lack of manifest sparkitude.

    Optimism is a common human trait.

    It's easy to see how optimism was selected in as we evolved. Watch a disaster movie. :)

  7. You guys aren't getting my drift... I don't think. I'm talking about the cosmos inside, from whence springs the feeling that you aren't any different than you ever were, despite the advance of decrepitude... the true self... the awareness itself. It's so hugely worth nurturing that. Go to beauty as often as possible, do right brain stuff, draw, listen for the patterns not the math in musical masterpieces, play with building blocks, find pattern recognition puzzles or make them. Get yer consciousness away from yer left brains, away from the propaganda blasters.

    Heck, even listening to people the mainstream ridicules as nuts has opened up a bunch of new avenues for positive manifestation... EVEN when I don't believe half they're saying. The thought experiments, the exposing yourself to new stuff, trying to make something pretty, even if yer a putz at it and can't show it to anyone. These things help knock the plaque from the synapses, bring us back out of our funks.

  8. I figured out the BEST way to be proactive about voting when all our elections are rigged and even when/if not, WHOEVER gets elected is MADE to perform for the controllers and NOT us, so VOTING is UTTERLY useless, EVEN if we have pristine clean elections.

    I don't want to give them my vote. But I don't want to elect anyone who wants to be elected, and I don't kid myself they will do ANY good even if they DO get elected. So, what's my answer?

    NOT this bullshit third party crap we can see full well is COMPLETELY out of the question. Nope.

    We ALL go vote, but we each write in whoever we think would be perfect for the post, living or dead... OR simply write in our own names. Basically, make a perfectly workable ballot, EXERCISE YER RIGHT, but send the message: THIS IS BULLSHIT.

    It is USELESS to just follow the No Incumbents thing. It's not getting us our freedom from tyranny. We need the positive energy.

  9. I need people to look around and see if there's any natural energetic elevation around them.

    Dammit! I need funding to go out and do my own survey!

  10. Buddy's got natural energetic elevation going on two or three times a day.

    Voting on propositions matters.
    Write-ins are ignored. If a enough people wrote in NOTA it might make the news, though. Millions of people.

  11. That's what I mean... MILLIONS doing it.

    And... sorry... if it matters enough to them, they do whatever we voted down anyway... EVERY TIME. Lots of evidence, actually, that the Prop 8 vote was rigged. This can't get better until we fix the PROBLEM. The one from which all the others flow.

    And, CATS and DOGS don't count. We have to get the humings at it.

  12. Prop 215 worked pretty well. You can buy pot in a store. That's a positive change brought by the ballot. :)

  13. Go to beauty as often as possible, do right brain stuff, draw, listen for the patterns not the math in musical masterpieces

    I so need to be on top a mountain with my guitar!

  14. Go! It's so close! Just getcher ass up there. OFTEN.

  15. FUCK!

    Just got back from canvasing the neighborhood for the fucking asshole that stole Kae's iPod. She dropped it and before she could pick it up the guy snagged it and took off running.

  16. It's going to get worse.

  17. Try to look at it as though the kid will get a meal out of it.

    And get up on the mountain.

  18. Last night Meg came into the room with her laptop open and a picture of the second tower being hit.
    She was all worked up and had a bunch of windows open with other evidence of the implosions.

    She went on and on telling me of how Bush was involved, showing me all the evidence she had found.

    While I have expressed my beliefs to her in the past I've never gone into real depth with her. I've shown her a few things when she happened to come in when I was viewing something, but that was about it.

    She was presenting all the research she had done...

    Dat's my daughter...

    One proud papa!

  19. Beautiful, BB2, beautiful.


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